Went home early from work today.
I hate what is happening to me right now.
Got up at 4:15 a.m. to go to work and by 9:30 I had used 4 tampons. There's just so much bleeding. Where is it all coming from!? I don't understand. But I couldn't hardly sit at work and bleed all over myself. So gross! I hate to miss so much work. I know we need the money. I know Eric is frustrated. Not just over the money but I know hes worried. I did call the doctor today and made an appointment for November the 23rd at 10:20 a.m.. Not 10:15. Not 10:30. 10:20. So weird.
As I stated yesterday, I hope it's nothing. But at the same time I hope that it something so I can move forward with the resolution. I can't continue to miss work (... due to blood loss? What? What is wrong with me!)
I keep thinking of Jeremy's cousin, Patty. If she had gone to the doctor sooner when she had menstrual problems would she still be alive? Or with the cancer still have killed her? It was so stupid of her to go to the chiropractor all those years for a menstrual issue. I can see now though how humiliating it is and how badly I want to avoid going. I don't want a doctor all up in my business either.
Tired. Seems like I combed out a ridiculous amount of hair this morning. Nauseous. Couldn't sleep last night from the cramps and the worry.
I can't have a serious problem. I couldn't hurt my parents with the news. I wouldn't want Eric to go through it with me. He would tho. Every step of the way.
I'm hoping less cramping today is a good sign that this last run might be over.